[Copypasta] I sexually Identify as an the sun

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2015

I sexually Identify as

I used to be a real ad
More I sexually Identify as Copypastas

I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

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I sexually Identify as a Lamborghini

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a LAMBORGHINI. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of DRIVing UP HERE IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS. People say to me that a person being a LAMBORGHINI is Impossible and I’m MATERIALISTIC but I don’t care, I’m this NEW LAMBORGHINI HERE. I’m having a plastic surgeon install , 7 NEW bookshelves and 2000 new books on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “NEW LAMBORGHINI HERE” and respect my right to DRIVE UP HERE IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS. If you can’t accept me you’re a LAMBOphobe and need to check your GNAWLIDGE. Thank you, and I'll see you on my website.
twitch chat
October 2016

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Kripp please stop wearing sexually suggestive clothing

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I think your arena results would be better if you focused more on your gameplay and less on wearing sexually suggestive clothing
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

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I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and I’m a fucking Twittard but I don’t care, I’m the richest man on Earth. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Technoking of Tesla” and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you can’t accept me you’re a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
April 2022

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Overused sexually identification copypasta

I sexually Identify as an overused sexually identification copypasta. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of spamming other users with my unfunny wall of text. People say that a person who does this is an idiot and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having these words glued all over my body. From now on I want people to refer to me as an overused sexually identification copypasta and respect my right to paste unfunny copypasta in chat. If you can't accept me you're funny and mentally stable and need to check your choice of subreddits. Thank you for being so understanding.
October 2016

I sexually Identify as

Text-to-Speech Playing